My Twinkle Star

Would just like to take a minute today to write a post about my gorgeous little cousin Chloe who was more of a sister to me than a cousin.

She died of Meningitis at the age of five, she contracted the disease twice, first time surviving however sadly the second time it took her from us.

She would have been fourteen today.

Happy 14th birthday my little twinkle star, miss you every day.

Please don't wait for the rash, check this site for more information http://www.meningitis-trust.org/?gclid=COqWqa3A3a8CFQQMtAodLisJCQ 

Do you know how to make lemonade?

We all know the saying "If life gives you lemons, make lemonade", but....what if you don't know how?

People throw things at you all the time telling you to go one way or another, this is your life, make your choice but.....what if you don't know where you want to go or what you want to do? What if your worried you will end up making the wrong choice that your stuck with for life?

I'm in this dilemma, well was.... I think...I hope.

As soon as you start studying for your GCSE's you are hit with this pressure to make your future there and then, choose your destiny but god knows we don't know what to do at that age, we are still kids. Some people may know straight off but others, like me, don't.

Finally at the age of twenty I believe I have discovered what I want my future career to be, it was something everyone always expected me to do but just took me a while to realise it myself.

The reason I am writing about this is because I want people to know, especially teenagers, that it is okay not knowing what you want to do, take your time and really think and experience different things and ALWAYS make sure whatever you end up choosing to do, it is for you and no one else.

I firstly left high school and went to sixth form not knowing what to do, I chose random subjects such as Psychology, Film Studies, English and Business. I only went cause my boyfriend at the time wanted me to. I left half way through because I absolutely hated it, it was not for me. I was stuck for another half year sitting at home, struggling for a job.

September came round again and I completed an NVQ2 in Front Office and Reception, I enjoyed this course so much but Hotel work gives you no social life, don't get me wrong I loved it but I couldn't do it for a living. However my teacher recommended I carry on to complete an NVQ3 in Business and Administration. During this course I broke up with my boyfriend at the time and basically....well...lets just say I went a bit off the rails and again dropped out, my stupid mistake.

Again I was sitting off doing nothing, struggling for work, the only job I have ever had is working for Argos as a Christmas Temp. Now a days it is just hard to get a job if you don't have experience.

Now I am going to reiterate again...never do anything if your heart is not in it, always make your choices based on what you want to do and no one else.

My parents always spoke about how they wanted either me or my brother to go to University, at least one of us, and it definitely wasn't going to be my brother, so I took up a course recently this pass September to gain equivalent to my A levels so I could go to University. A couple of months a go I realised it was not what I wanted to do, personally I didn't want to go another three years with no job and come out with still nothing and probably a worthless degree. Don't get me wrong university works for some people but I'm just not one of them. Well the funny thing was, turned out my parents actually didn't want me to go either in the end, they were on the same wave length as me. This was due to the fact when I spoke to them about it, feeding them information and they themselves asked friends with children in University it made them see and come to the same conclusion as me, its just not worth it unless you really know your going to come out with something at the end.

So here I am and I finally know what I want to do, I want to become an administrator/PA/Receptionist. I have interviews all this week for jobs and apprenticeships. I have always been an organised person, loved doing jobs for people, even typed up my brothers homework in school (obviously he had written it all down but needed it typed). I also taught myself to touch type since as far back as I can remember (Can type without looking at the keyboard) and can type on average eighty - ninety words per minute.

Well apparently everyone knew this type of career was right for me because of my personality and the way I act but never actually brought it up just suddenly when I decided they were like "Oh yeah, its perfect, we knew it would be something like that"

All I want to say is, take your time with your life decisions, it is okay if you change your mind along the way and make mistakes, at least you can look back and say "Hey at least I went and tried and knew it wasn't for me" and always make your choices on what you want to do.

I wouldn't have got were I am today without the support of my parents, family and my loving, amazing boyfriend. Thank you all.

I can now say, I know how to make lemonade :-)....hopefully.....as long as it don't get in my eyes :-P

Thanks

Would just like to thank everyone for viewing my story on PCOS and for sharing your own personal stories to me. They are all inspiring. I love to hear people's stories with the matter and learn how they deal with PCOS.

Also thank you for sharing the link and widening people's knowledge on the subject.

Please spread the word.

Thanks for reading.

PCOS and me.

A lot of women don't know what PCOS is, hell I didn't when I first found out about it but it is actually the most common cause of infertility in women and I would recommend that if you have any of the symptoms, you should get checked out. For a quick overview on PCOS just go to the PCOS tab. Here is my story:

Well I was always the awkward kid in school, overweight, hardly any friends with depression. I always wondered what was wrong with me. I struggled to loose weight, I could work out every day, eat the right food and still nothing would go. I had extra hair in places such as my stomach and face (not that bad to do something about it thank god) but I wondered why. I always had pain in my abdomen but was prone to kidney infections so it was just brushed aside. Now the main part, I was an early starter, I hit puberty when I was 9 so I was use to my periods but suddenly gradually over the years they became irregular, I could go between 8 to 12 months at a time without a period. Eventually at the age of 19 I brought it up to the doctors, I don't know why I didn't do it sooner, I guess I was scared encase it was something serious, turned out it kinda was.

After a series of blood tests including one that took 7 viles of blood at one time, that wasn't pretty but a friendly old couple sat outside the doctors with me until my taxi come. Also had the ultrasound scan and boy did I know something was wrong. I remember lying there looking intently at the nurse for any sign and she certainly couldn't keep a poker face, her face changed when I knew she had seen something. Instead of telling me I had to wait weeks to find out what was wrong, the agony. It was finally revealed. I had Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS).

I remember the day I found out, I cried in the car with my mum of sadness of the fear of not having children, I am one of those people whose dream is to have children, a huge family, if I couldn't I wouldn't know what to do. There was almost a sort of happiness though, happiness that I knew what was wrong with me, everything clicked in my head. I knew it wasn't just me being me, there actually was something going on with my body, mentally and physically, and I could explain it.

When the doctor first told me I was a bit like okay what is that? You can't just say I have something and expect me to know what it is.

Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) is when the eggs don't fully leave the fallopian tube and get stuck and form tiny cysts, nothing serious enough to remove but can cause pains, this is the reason you can go months without periods. This, of course to state the obvious, can cause women to find it difficult to become pregnant and can cause infertility if not checked regularly. It also raises the risks of cancer.

Symptoms of PCOS are as follows:

• Depression/Anxiety/Paranoia - This can be a pain.
• Hair loss or excessive hair growth - The joys, too bad the excessive hair growth isn't on your head and the hair loss isn't on your legs or arm pits.
• Lack of periods - The obvious one. There are tablets to regulate them which you take for one month every three months. The main problem I find is, because they balance your hormones out, once the month is up your hormones get whacked out and cause your mood swings to become severe and depression really hits home. Personally I choose not to take them and just go on a regular monthly birth control pill.
• Hormone imbalance - Reasons why it causes severe mood swings and depression/anxiety problems. You also have higher testerone levels, hence the hair problems.
• Hard to loose weight/Obesity. - Just to make things that extra more difficult.
• Higher insulin levels - This means you have a higher risk of diabetes...fun.
• Acne - Specially spots on the jawline, these tend to mean there are problems with your ovaries
• Problems conceiving - There are ways to help though as I have been told over and over.

One major thing that is not your friend when it comes to PCOS is glutton which is a bummer because I looooove bread, pizzas, burgers, all the good things but I have them as treats now and again.

I deal with this day to day and I am finding it easier, not saying there are no hurdles to face from time to time but the fact that I have something that explains my problem really helps and I like to talk to other women about it and expand their knowledge. I read books on PCOS specially ones by Colette Harr. I visit the Verity site daily, Verity is the only charity in the UK for PCOS.

There is no cure for PCOS and no cause, one source is that doctors believe it can run between families but women never know because they do not get checked out and brush the problems aside.

If you any questions please ask and I would suggest you go get checked out if you have some of these symptoms. Better to be safe than sorry.

PCOS needs to be made more aware of so spread the word ladies! And guys :-).

Thanks for reading.

http://www.verity-pcos.org.uk/

Launch! We have lift off.

Right well this is my first time writing a blog. I was actually inspired to do this by a few people I recently started speaking to who ...you guessed it....have blogs.

I thought this will be a good place to put out well...me :-D. My thoughts, my life, my fashion.

I'm 20 years old, huge fan of Everton and love my boyfriend, family and friends.

I will be speaking about a disorder I was diagnosed with when I was 19 called Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS), what it is, what are the symptoms and what can be done. It's a life long issue that I deal with day to day.

I'll probably also rant, rave and just post random things that happen day to day.

Hope you enjoy reading and thanks for checking it/me out.

Oh and P.S Currently obsessed with an awesome website http://www.fantasyshopper.com